Angel Wings Wednesday #13

Dear Sarah Catherine,

Last week, June 18, was your 6 month birthday.

On June 18, we finally laid your sweet body to rest.

It was so special, Sarah.

All of your Great-Grandmas and the one Great-Grandpa who isn’t already in heaven with you, they all came.  They all came to say goodbye.

So did your Grandma and Grandpa, your Nana and Papa, your Uncles. And of course me and Daddy and your brothers.

Sarah, you were so loved.  Only a couple of us got to hold you and you were already gone by then.

Only I got to feel you move, when you were still within me.

We all miss you so much.  Especially your big brothers.  They’re so young and it’s so confusing to them. 

Spud, he’s three, he doesn’t understand.  He asked if we were going to take you from heaven so we could bury you.  Still, a week later, he’s confused.  He doesn’t understand how your body can be here, but your soul with out heavenly Father. No three year old should have to go through this.

Dude is doing better.  He was a pallbearer at your burial, along with your uncles.  He was so proud to help and to carry you, just once.  He’s only six, but he understands a bit more.  Thank God for Catholic school.  Even so, he broke down into tears today, because he misses you so much.

I know you know all this Sarah, because you’re watching out for us.  I know because of my faith and because you gave me the most beautiful sign.

My peony, with its hundreds of buds was on the cusp of blooming for days, but none opened.  That is, until the day of your burial.  That morning, one, just one bud opened.  Thank you Sarah, it was such a beautiful gift.

I cut that first bloom and it was the first flower that was laid on your tiny little coffin.  Did you know it’s barely larger than a show box?  I think my boots came in a larger box, Sarah.

While Fly Like a Bird and Child of my Heart played, everyone laid down a flower. 

Have I mentioned how very much you are loved?

At that point we could have left, but Dude and Spuds needed to see the process completed, so we stayed to watch them cover you with earth.  Sarah, Spud gasped when they placed you in the ground.  It was such a shock to your brother.  And we prayed.  Sarah we prayed so hard for your beautiful little soul.

The funeral director placed half of the flowers in the ground with you and half outside.  My peony was dropped.  But at the last minute it was seen and placed in the ground with you and during that solemn time, during our fervent praying, Dude exclaimed, “Oh thank goodness!  I’m so glad your flower is in with Sarah, Mama!”

Then after everything Dude & Spud each took two balloons.  They kissed them.  And we watched them float up until they disappeared into the clouds.  To heaven.  Did you feel their kisses, sweet baby?

Sweet Sarah Catherine, you’ll always be in my heart.

Love,

Mama