Angel Wings Wednesday #7

This past Sunday would have been Sarah Catherine’s baptism.

Because our families are spread across the country, I had already contacted the church to schedule the baptism several weeks before we lost her.

On Sunday, I walked into the church, hand in hand with Dude and Spud (Hubs was out of town) and I saw another family sitting in the front row, their baby nestled in the Mother’s arms and I thought, “that should have been me.”

Instead of gut wrenching sadness, I felt more melancholy.  I snuggled Dude & Spud close and prayed for a few minutes, remembering my little girl.

Then, at offertory, the song was announced.  It is one of my favorites and the lyrics were just perfect for what I was feeling.

You Are Mine

I will come to you in the silence
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear My voice
I claim you as My choice
Be still, and know I am near

I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light
Come and rest in Me

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am strength for all the despairing
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame
All the blind will see, the lame will all run free
And all will know My name

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am the Word that leads all to freedom
I am the peace the world cannot give
I will call your name, embracing all your pain
Stand up, now, walk, and live

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

Part of the lyrics seem meant to Sarah Catherine, resting eternally with Jesus.  The others just perfect for a Mother left behind.  In particular the last verse spoke to me: 

I am the Word that leads all to freedom

I am the peace the world cannot give.

I will call your name, embracing all your pain

Stand up, now walk, and live!

What beautiful words.  Our God is surely great.  It’s so easy to shut down and stop living after a loss.  But God is there, I don’t have to bear the pain all by myself.  The world is still so beautiful with so many blessings.  When I’m feeling sad, I remember those words and feel God’s comforting arms around me.

Sarah Catherine was not in my arms being baptized on Sunday, but she was resting  peacefully in Jesus’ arms, and that will be ok until I can get there and hold her myself.